Closing out my LJ

I am consolidating my social networking to G+, part of doing that was setting up a blog circle over there. I will be using that for blogging now so if you are here and enjoying my blog (sporadic as it is) let me know and I will make sure you get added to my G+ circle.

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On saturday we (Mason, Amber and I) went to visit my mom. Mason was going to tell my mom that Amber and I had gotten engaged. When he went to try he turned beat red and tried to hide in his hands. He tried several times before he asked me to tell.

He is the most adorable boy, I look forward to seeing the great man he will become.

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(Posted as a comment but seemed worth repeating)

My grandmother died at the age of 94, the day after my son and I went to visit her. While we were there I held her hand and told her how much she was love and that it was okay to go, that the things she cared for would be well taken care of. She could barely mumbling but I believe she said thank you.

She didn't fear death, she feared not living anymore, there is a vast and beautiful difference.

Character Playlists

Bringing a character back to Shadow Accord that has been missing from the story for a while. During that time away from the game he has been to hell and back, well not all the way back yet. He has changed quite a bit in all of this but pieces are still the same.
Today I start modifying his playlist to represent that but before I do I want to record what it was before this strange journey began.

Planet of the Apes - MSI
Be Afraid of Us - Strand
Wake up Hate - KoRn
Defender of the Child - Heather Alexander
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor - System of a Down
I Believe in a Thing Call Love - The Darkness
Immigrant Punk - Gogol Bordello
Where is my Mind? - Pixies
Just Like you Imagined - NIN
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Freaks - Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
The Root of all Evil - Abney Park
Human Behavior - Bjork
This is the New Shit - Marilyn Manson
Chosen - VNV Nation
Get your Body Beat - Combichrist
Down with the Sickness - Disturbed
Lose Yourself - Eminem

The Fatherening

Mason’s birthday was this last Wednesday, I took the day off of work so he and I could spend the day together. Our day was crazy busy but so much fun, here is a list of the big activities.

Shopping at Toys ‘s’ us: Mason got to pick out his own present. He got a remote control car.

Went to the park: We wanted to run the new remote control car but it takes an hour to charge so we played at the play ground for a while. Mason made a single serving friend and they played tag.

Played with Remote Controlled Car: After playing at the play ground we played with the remote controlled car. It was a lot of fun, so very fast.

Red Robin: We headed to Red Robin to get some lunch, Mason told pretty much everyone we came across that today was his birthday and he would like it if they sang to him. It was quite adorable and made me proud to see him display social skills to get something he found valuable.

Remote control car fail: We went back to the park to do some more remote control car playing but it only worked for a couple of moments. Checked directions to make sure we did everything right and set it to charge again.

Mini Golf: We went back to the miniature golf course and finished the last course we had not tried yet. Great fun. I think when I pick him up this weekend we might go back, it is not far from his mom’s house.

Remote control car fail: Still not working we returned to Toys ‘r’ us where they were kind enough to replace the busted car. We then went to Mason’s house and played Super Mario Brothers while we waited for the car to charge, which it did and it was good.

Baseball Banquet: Gathering Mason’s mom and her man we went to Mason’s baseball banquet. Everyone got a trophy and they sang happy birthday to Mason. During the banquet I noted that several of the kids came to Mason and asked if he wanted to hang out with them, he declined several before he decided something he wanted to do and they all followed.

Messy Games: After the baseball banquet we headed to the park again for messy games, a cub scouts event. The kids got to dip pudding on each other, have a marshmallow fight with syrup on the marshmallows and other such crazyness. Afterwards again they are sang happy birthday to Mason. After seeing Mason being “popular” at the banquet I was watching for it at cub scouts, he was not as popular, mostly because of the larger age difference I think, he can’t compete with the early teens but he was well behaved and helpful to the den leaders. I recognize one of the benefits of being a child with divorced parents, he is learning to adapt his behavior to the circumstances to find social engagement.

After all of that I took them all home, gave Mason a hug good bye and wished him a happy birthday one more time. I will get to see him again this weekend, I am quite excited.


The Fatherening Summary

It has been several years now that Mason and I have been spending a week together in the summer and this has been the most successful trip so far. In the past Mason and I have both been ready for him to go home several days before the end of the vacation. Setting up activities in a such a way that we got time away from each other and that we had things to do the entire vacation instead of all at the beginning I did a better job of managing our time and energy. I hope that next year I will do an even better job.

This last week I realized that being a good part-time parent is not being a full-time parent only some of the time. There are different challenges in being a part-time parent that can’t be solved in a full-time parent style. The first and most on my mind is that Mason will never have good friends at my house, he is not there often enough to build those relationships. This means that I will always have to be his friend when he comes to visit. So I will have to do the things that a 7 year old will enjoy doing, but I need understand my attention and energy levels and have him take part in the things that I would enjoy as well and above both of those is find activities that will suit both of us.

This journal has been really helpful in growing and understanding a few things about myself. I hope some of you have enjoyed reading it as well, if you have please tell me something you have enjoyed doing with your father or as a father in the comments.


The Fatherening Day 9

7/31/2011 (Sunday)

Today is the last day of our vacation together, so when I got up in the morning I asked Mason what he would like to do, he answered “I would like to do something with you…. Can we play a co-op video game?” We played video games and pet kittens for a couple of hours and then I took him home. It was a short day, only saw each other for a few hours but they had a good quality to them.


The Fatherening Day 8

7/30/2011 (Saturday)

My knee is still hurting today so not much in the arena of physical activity for me. We took the kittens to the vet for their first check up. After the Vet Amber took Mason for a walk so he could have some physical activity. My leg hurting, the high temperatures and a long week have worn me out, I can tell that my energy is slipping. I will miss Mason but I am also looking forward to taking him home tomorrow, a hard set of feelings to feel at the same time.


The Fatherening Day 7

7/29/2011 (Friday)

With Mason staying at my mom’s house we had little time yesterday or today for doing much beside transportation and hanging out but showing that hanging out and building relationships comes before almost everything else seems good.

While running around the block I wore out and twisted my knee a bit, hopefully that will feel better soon.


The Fatherening Day 6

7/25/2011 (Thursday)

Today Mason and I played around the house this morning and then went off to my mom’s house for another visit. Mason stayed there for the night while I had a Shadow Accord meeting at my apartment.

Nothing special to report for today, which is its own kind of special.